Apparently, there is some truth to this statement.

The positive thing about healthy anger is that it tells you that you can't continue to live life the way you've been living it. You realize how stupid you have been to be blind or unforgivingly tolerant of how others have treated, disappointed or hurt you and you will have no more of it. Something's gotta give and it's not gonna be you.

- Jim Paredes, http://haringliwanag.pansitan.net/

...

Touche.

Just when I needed it most.

"I never needed him. I just loved him."

Maybe this is the right answer to Eunice' question: "Howcome you are so okay now?"

A lot of people confuse the words "need" and "love." There are tons of articles, quotations, lyrics, and movie lines that have discussed the correlation of these two words but I really don't think that most of us had a good grasp of what these meant.

How can we blame ourselves when most of us cannot put a uniform definition to these words? When someone tells you he / she loves you, it could mean any of the ff:

I'm alone and lonely. Please be with me.

I have no choice because you are my brother, friend, aunt.

You gave me the world, how do I repay you?

I don't know what to do with my life, help me?

You make me feel good about myself, without you I am nothing.

I am happy with or without you but I choose to keep you at your most comfortable distance,

The last choice is sound yet it doesn't mean enslavement. It should be emancipating—something that will truly give you peace of mind. A reason so strong enough to keep you unperturbed despite the wailing of the breeze.

I'm holding my ground for the decisions I have made. Maybe I have matured to an extent that I don't need distracting thoughts to control my emotions. Maybe I can now live my days being a silent spectator of your life, always praying that someday you'll find yourself and be the person I've always thought you were.

I am at peace.

Probably, this has been the tallest fence I've ever crossed. I'd still look back and remember yet I will continue to walk forward and savor the greetings of another beginning.

I am looking forward to shaking your hand someday.

I love you enough.

For me to stand here far away from you.

For me to swallow every stone you were handed to.

For me to untangle the ropes to liberate you.

I love you enough. That’s all you need to know now.

Never Ending

by Kaskade

album: Love Mysterious (2006)

Oh I can never replace my love for you 
Oh I will never forget you see me through 

Over thoughts of giving in 
Never wanted this to end 
It won’t last as long as memories stay 
Cause it will never fade away 

Oh I can never replace my love for you 
Oh I will never forget you see me through

It’s been weighing on my mind 
Knowing this was quite a find 
I won’t let this feeling pass away 
Reminded of this everyday 
You’re everywhere 
You’re here 
You’re all around me 
I can feel you touch me 
Raise my voice to the sky above 
Cries of love

Have you experienced loving someone and literally feeling that emotion clutching the heart? And this grip makes you restless, makes you stop whatever you’re doing, and makes you paint that genuine smile.

People define it through figures of speech. And for the first time, I literally felt loving “from the bottom of the heart.”  A series of serious “rhythmic beatings of the heart,” medically called palpitations.  These rhythmic beatings come too strong that it shakes the entire being—otherwise known as “swooning.”

And you feel “warm,” literally makes your body temperature rise. Makes you want this person even more. Makes you want to stay with them “til the end of time” or in simpler and more realistic terms-- for a lifetime.

*our song*

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Part I: posted Jan 14

There is a thing in life that you just can't let go of. No matter how great and real the promises are the moment you open your hands and give up that thing you dearly hold on to now. No matter how great and real the anticipated misery will be when you continue holding on to it. Still, you choose keep it, protect it, and even nurture it. Because right at this very moment, this very second, it's the happiness that it gives your heart is what truly matters.

And this happiness.. it's real.. it's everything.

This only thing you call everything convinces you that life is never about you and how you want the world to be. It makes you deal with things you have never wanted. It makes you find ways to make it alright when the world says otherwise. It is about challenging the greatest odds. It is about defying all the rules for that only truth in your life.

Even in the end, you know you'll never win.

They say true love conquers all. But really, does this all include fate??

For the record, this isn't mine. This piece was beautifully written by my fave, Paulo Coelho "The Warrior of Light"

Dictionary definition: Feminine noun, derived from the Latin Luxuria. Lechery, sensuality, lasciviousness. It can also be defined as luxuriance in plants, or exuberance of sap.

According to the Catholic Church: Inordinate desire for sexual pleasure. Desires and acts are inordinate when they do not conform to the divine purpose, which is to propitiate mutual love between spouses and to beget offspring. It goes against the Sixth Commandment (Thou shalt not sin against chastity).

According to Henry Kissinger: There is nothing more aphrodisiacal than power.

In a Buddhist story: Chu and Wu returned home after a week’s meditation in the monastery. They talked about how temptations appear before man.

They reached the banks of a river. There, a beautiful woman was waiting to cross the river. Chu picked her up in his arms, carried to the other side and continued his journey with his friend.

At a certain point, Wu said:

"We talked about temptation and you picked up that woman in your arms. It provided an opportunity for sin to enter your soul".

Chu answered:

"My dear Wu, I behaved naturally. I took that woman across and left her on the other side of the river. But you continued carrying her in your thoughts – and for that reason you are closer to sin”.

From a prostitute’s diary: I earn 350 Swiss Francs to spend an hour with a man. I am exaggerating. If we don’t count taking off clothes, pretending to be affectionate, chatting about something obvious and getting dressed, we will reduce this time to eleven minutes of actual sex.

Eleven minutes. The world revolves around something that takes only eleven minutes. It is because of these eleven minutes in a 24-hour day (considering that all make love with their wives, every day, which is truly absurd and a complete lie), that they marry, sustain a family, put up with the children crying, overdo themselves in explanations when they arrive home late, look at dozens or hundred of other women with whom they would like to stroll around Lake Geneva, buy expensive clothes for themselves, and even more expensive clothes for their wives, pay prostitutes to make up for what was missing without knowing what it is, sustain a gigantic industry of cosmetics, diets, gymnastics, pornography, power – and when they get together with other men, contrary to what the myth says, never talk about women. They talk about jobs, money and sport. There is something very wrong with civilization. (I've read this book, so full of wisdom.. highly recomended)

Lust and numbers (in 2002): William Lyon, of the Free Speech Coalition, estimates that just on the internet the pornography sector makes an annual profit of between 10 and 12 billion dollars (23 to 26 billion Reals), well over Microsoft’s profit. In 1999, the Video and Software Sellers Association found that the sale or rental of pornographic films was around 4.1 billion dollars (8.7 billion Reals), exceeding the majority of the very expensive films made in Hollywood (Source: Caslon Analytics Profiles)

The Tao Te King says: Keep the sensitive soul and the animal body in one compartment so that they cannot be separated.

Control the vital force, so that you will be transformed again into a newborn child.

When you banish mysterious visions from your imagination you may, then, become unblemished.

Purify yourself and don’t look for intellectual answers for the Mystery.

When discernment penetrates the four regions, perhaps you will not recognize what gives life and sustains it.

That which gives life does not claim any possession. It benefits, but does not demand gratitude. It commands, but does not exercise authority. That is what is called “mysterious quality”.